So this is gonna be an extremely personal post for me, so much so that I’m debating posting it even now. But, saying that, I feel like it’s something that should be spoken about, and I shouldn’t feel this nervous admitting to this/ talking about it. 

So (drum roll please), what is it? Anxiety. That’s it. That’s the thing that I’ve been nervous about posting and admitting that I have - and the thing is, I’m not ashamed of it at all, nor should be, and it’s only in the last year or so I’ve started to be okay about admitting it (and that’s all down to my fabulous family and friends - you guys are the best). I really don’t want this to turn into a sympathy-seeking post because quite frankly I don’t want sympathy - I don’t people saying ‘Aw George that sucks!’ because it’s not a weakness and shouldn’t be treated as one, it’s quite literally a part of me, and all it’s done is make me a stronger person and will continue to do so. 

Obviously I have bad days, days where I don’t even want to move because I’m so anxious, but every time I can do whatever makes me anxious it makes me realise that it’s okay to be nervous about things because I can still do them. And this is going to be such a stereotypical thing to say - but it does only get better, I mean go back 3 years and I wouldn’t have even thought to write this! And I know I can’t, but I’d love for everyone who feels the same to realise that!

I owe a lot (well, everything) to my family and friends, I won’t name names, but you know who you are, so give yourself a pat on the back, or a big drink, whatever 🤷🏼‍♀️ Without every single one of you, I wouldn’t have gone to the doctors (btw if you’re debating medication, and you can, try it! I was unsure if it’d work but it has done, and at the end of the day, if it doesn’t work, you’ve only lost £8) and I wouldn’t have continued to do what I love (Theatre if you couldn’t guess)! A massive massive thank you to my mum and dad however, from the moment I told them (in hindsight, I just sprung it on them so I didn’t give them ANY warning) they’ve been so supportive and done anything they could to help, eg calling the doctors to make an appointment when I was too nervous to, so a special shout out to them.

I think the reason I’m writing about this particular subject is because it’s not one which is given as much attention as it should, and people need to know about it. I think a lot of people brush it under the carpet unless it directly affects them/ someone close to them, and as much as it’s not particularly pleasant to read/ talk about, it needs to be done so people in a bad place can talk about it when they need to - and sometimes it’s so hard to admit that you need help - that if everyone’s talking about it already, it just makes it that much easier!! 

I think another good point to bring up is how to ‘deal’ with it. I obviously can’t speak for everyone, but I think these will vaguely cover it. I think the biggest trick is not to treat people like they’re a wounded animal and like they’re weak... we’re not, at all, if we were we couldn’t deal with this day in, day out. Treating us like we’re weak is mostly annoying, and really quite patronising. I also am a believer of just double checking with your friends/ family if they’re okay with certain activities, if they’re perfectly okay with them they’ll soon tell you, but if they’re not, they’ll appreciate you asking so much, trust me! 

Anyway this is gonna get really long if I carry on, so I’ll end it here, but I know that this will be (quite possibly) a shock to some people, and if you’re someone I haven’t told about this, please don’t feel offended or that it’s personal, because I promise you it isn’t! But if for any reason, you have any questions, please please feel free to ask! 

Anyway, the next thing I write about will be cheerier... I promise! 

George xx